Sweet Pursuits

The quest for finding simplicity and joy in the kitchen and home, in a crazy/full season of life.

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Why ‘Minimalism’ the answer for overwhelmed Work From Home mama

For the work-from-home-mama, life isn’t as simple as just focusing on raising kids and keeping the house clean.  It also means finding the time to get work done, while desperately hoping that the client on the other end of the phone or email couldn’t hear the chaos (or the intro song to Paw Patrol that is currently keeping them entertained).  Throw in a large pinch of Mom Guilt for feeling like the work effort and the parenting efforts aren’t enough. It’s a recipe for a stressed, overwhelmed mama.  I’ve been there….ohhh, I’ve been there. 

The overwhelm is real.  There isn’t enough prime attention and energy for everything.

I was raising my voice at my kids. I was mad at myself for not keeping a tidy home. I felt a sense of shame over when was the last time that the bathroom floor was actually scrubbed? Not to mention those baseboards…. I didn’t like the fact that frozen pizza and potstickers had been creeping into our regular dinner routine more often than they should.  Life was overwhelming, and I was just struggling to keep my head above the water.  

Every time my phone rang, I dreaded answering it — since it meant that someone out there is needing something from me. I had nothing left to give.

The elements  of life that impact other people (clients, etc) often get the best of me…. which means that the people who matter the most — my own family — get what is left over. And that just isn’t good enough.  Don’t the people who matter the most — your own family — deserve the best?   

Late last year, I found that each day the overwhelm was beginning to outweigh the joy I found in each day. 

I was tired of my husband coming home, and answering his “how was your day?” with something less than positive.  Why wouldn’t it be joyful, getting to spend my days with these squishy, hilarious babies?  But all was seeing was all the things I *should* be doing, and wasn’t doing. Why was the house cluttered and messy? Why couldn’t I figure out what to make for dinner? Why was I stressed about my work? 

How the mindset change happened

One day, I found the secret. A friend shared a post on her Facebook feed, and I scrolled through it mindlessly while the kids were in the bath. The blog post, entitled How Getting Rid of My Stuff Saved My Motherhood, was going viral around mom blogs and Facebook feeds everywhere, and it showed up in my newsfeed more than once.

Written by a mom of four kids who had been in this place once before, Allie Casazza writes a blog and now follows a minimalistic lifestyle, which allows her to focus on what really matters — her family.  This was the first that I had ever heard about ‘purposeful living’ and ‘minimalism’, and I was hooked. This was the way to a simpler, less complicated mindset, which promised to lead to a simpler, happier life.  I was intrigued. 

The Road to Minimalism

After reading Allie’s post, I was hooked.  I immediately looked around the house and was things that I wondered why on earth they were taking up precious real estate in our home.  Toys the kids didn’t play with. More jackets and shoes than any one person would ever need. Far more pots than I had space to use at once.

Reading Allie’s article lit the proverbial fire under my butt to realize that your STUFF becomes your THOUGHTS.  It is so true. All of the STUFF was the reason I was stressed and on edge.  I was constantly picking things up. Putting things away. Getting tired of the process and letting them sit, where they because mental clutter.  Piles would form.  And then, because I was spending so much time focusing on all the stuff, the energy to actually clean — as in, scrub floors, remove dirt — happened far less than I wanted to.  With too many belongings, it became a vicious circle and my stress and sanity were always the first to suffer.

The path to getting out of the overwhelm is easy. The answer is MINIMALISM.  Keep only the things you use and love. Get rid of the rest. Having less stuff means less piles to clean, less things to put away, less things for the kids to strew around the house. 

It doesn’t just apply to ‘stuff’. It applies to routines and thoughts as well. Simplify the home.  Simplify meals. Simplify business goals and routines. Simplify cleaning.  In the last year as I have began my journey towards simplifying these things, I have been slowly seeing life start to fall into place. We’ve had more joy and less stress at home, the house seems cleaner and tidier, and while our lives are still full, life just seems to work better. And best of all, the sense of overwhelm is happening less and less frequently. 

If you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, with a lot on your plate, have you ever tried to adopt a more minimalist lifestyle?

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welcome.

Sweet Pursuits is a busy mama’s quest to find simplicity and joy, in the kitchen and in the home.

A brief look back

This website is actually 11 years old, but I’m going to guess this is your first time visiting. If so, welcome! When I started this blog (way back in 2008), I was a single 20-something year old, living alone in a big city condo, attending pastry school (and later, working late nights on the pastry service line at fancy restaurants.) My colleagues, friends and family wanted updates and photos of my adventures in pastry school, so I started this blog then. I kept most of those posts up — you can see them all here. Fast forward to 2019, life now includes two kids (aged 5 and 3), a business to manage, a large-ish house (to clean and renovate), a farm & orchard to run, an Air BnB to host, and dinners to get on the table every night.

From the outside, life is pretty much textbook as far as what I dreamed of. A big house in the country, a small business, a couple kids? YAY! But in reality, I often find myself stretched so thin, often on the verge of tears, and no clue where I can pull back just to get a bit of reprieve. (ie. I can’t not cook dinner. I can’t not run my business. I can’t not clean the house. I can’t not spend quality time with my family! And so on and so on). It’s a very full season of life, and sometimes it feels perfect, while other times feels like much.too.much.

well hello, minimalism:

For the last couple years, I was always behind, never really thriving or enjoying. I spent too much time forgetting key events, not recalling when was the last time that I actually wiped the baseboards, and of course, every evening at 5pm, realizing I had no idea what to cook for dinner. I was spending too much time looking around the house, frustrated with all the things that needed to be put away, tidied up, cleaned. freshened up (our house is very early-1990’s decor).

I would find myself cruising Pinterest and blogs late at night for advice/inspiration/hope that I could somehow find the magic key that would make things more streamlined. I knew it was just a busy season of life, but I wasn’t enjoying it like I’d hoped to. It seemed like there was a magic ticket out there, and if only I could unwrap just that ONE golden piece of advice, life would magically fall into place in one fell swoop.

During one of those late-night searches, I came across the concepts of Minimalism, and something just clicked. Not in the stark, ‘everything is Black and White, and I own precisely 20 items’ way. But more, in the ‘everything we have in this house has a purpose, has a home, and is something we use and love’ way. While our house never looked jam-packed, the fact that it is a big house (just over 3000 sq ft) means that it holds a lot of stuff. And a lot of stuff, even if there is space for it all, is stressful.

By learning about Minimalism, it changed things. It changed my way of thinking. It gave me hope that if I could be more intentional with what items shared our space with us, I could save time and gain headspace.

Immediately, I started to get rid of stuff. Life started to feel lighter. It made me like our house better when there was less stuff in it, even when the style of the house isn’t my style. We are still working through our home and curating what items truly need to share space with us, but already, it is a life-changing difference.

Minimalism in the kitchen

Before I had babies, I always thought maybe one day I would have a legit food blog; a place to share recipes, cake decorating, techniques. But there was a problem. As life got busier, my time spent in the kitchen was more utilitarian, and less enjoyable. Having picky eaters who tend to get hangry as the evening gets closer, an over-stuffed kitchen and being short on time….all good reasons to not feel the love in the kitchen. Before babies, I used to love spending hours cooking – making pasta from scratch, trying out new recipes and creating my own. What used to involve making a tasty side dish (orange scented roasted baby beets with crumbed goat cheese, yes please!) soon quickly transformed to the ubiquitous bowl of cherry tomatoes and baby carrots as a side. No inspiration, no effort. The kitchen no longer held the leisurely appeal it used to. And so, the dream of having a food blog dissipated, knowing it just wasn’t the right season of life. It would be too hard to be inspiring to others, when I couldn’t drum up the inspiration within myself.

After discovering Minimalism and Intentional Living, it has changed my relationship with the kitchen.  I am coming to realize that I need my kids to learn to love food: both in preparing food and eating it. If they don’t learn it from me, they likely won’t learn it at all.  Plus, as I got rid of excess stuff from the kitchen, I started to enjoy spending more time there. WIN!!

I want my kids to grow up in a house where meals are celebrated, family memories are made around the table, and weekends are spent baking and cooking together.  Our kids are 5 and 3 now, and are at the age where they really want to help out with cooking.

3 year old Zach helping bake pumpkin coffee cake (mid kitchen upgrade!)

This is a very transformative age, and I want to do it right.  It’s time to kick this kitchen funk to the door, and fall back in love with the kitchen again.

And so, after 11 years of on-and-off writing this blog for just personal reasons, this is the official launch.  Sweet Pursuits is a busy mama’s quest to find simplicity and joy, in the kitchen and in the home. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, it’s time to celebrate this full season of life. This is my journey, but I know one thing is always true: when one person has a question or a problem, there are always so many others out there with the same question. I know that there are many others out there struggling with the same overwhelm and quest for joy and simplicity.

If you’re a busy mama with little ones of your own, (or not a mama, but just have a lot of other responsibilities on your plate!), feeling frustrated with how to manage dinners, what on earth to pack for lunches, how to make your house a home, and how to juggle all.the.things, this place is for you. For us.

This is an exciting, full, exhausting, satisfying season of life, and we spend our days making the house & home run. It’s time to prioritize finding some joy, some beauty, and some inspiration in this incredibly important job we have. You’ll find easy recipes for family dinners, baking recipes to pack for school lunches (and that kids can help with!), cooking and kitchen streamlining tips from a professional chef, tips and tricks to declutter/live a more minimal lifestyle, easy DIY’s to upgrade the house, and even some productivity tips and stories for how to thrive as a Work From Home Mom.

Read on, and let’s kick find some joy & simplicity in our everyday lives at home and in the kitchen!

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3 Lesson I Learned from Being Overwhelmed

It’s summer again, and I’m still tired from last summer.

Last summer was my first season with my commercial kitchen at home and running a legit custom cake business from the house.

It was intense.  I did 37 weddings, which for some bakeries is not a lot, but I am a one-woman operation. Throw into that mix a weekly farmers market as well (June through September). On top of my business, we are parenting two little ones and running an orchard…plus, we started an Air BnB. Yes, we’re crazy.

It took me until December before I could face going back down to my studio again.   I was exhausted. Mentally exhausted.  A good kind of exhausted – that kind of tired where you’re falling asleep in your dinner, heart full but just tired….so very tired.

As fulfilling as this busy-ness was, it was overwhelming. Too much.  Overwhelming in the way that a good nights sleep and a day off to rest is not enough to recharge.

It taught me some lessons that I am really honing in on, 8 months later. Lessons that will be the focus of this website, moving forward. I have to keep these lessons on the forefront, so that I can be intentional about them not repeating themselves.

Here are three ways that my Summer of Overwhelm has actually been a good thing, because it brought to light three important lessons:

1.  The lesson of SIMPLIFYING THE HOME –  the more stuff around the house, the more things I have to pick up, especially with two young kids.  A full and cluttered house makes me anxious and uncomfortable, and I need to remove the blinders and recognize that maybe we have too much stuff. Clutter makes it hard to clean, and that is another whole issue.  A tidy house is easier to rest in, to enjoy, and it means that less time is needed to keep it looking and feeling at its best.  Simplifying the home includes simplifying cleaning, clothing (and laundry), meal prep, cooking, and decor.

Why is this important? When the home is tidy and I’m not surrounded by piles of papers/laundry/stuff, the busy-ness of my mind can actually rest. But when there is stuff everywhere, all I see are more Things To-Do. Things to put on the list.

2.  The lesson of PRIORITIES – between family, work, and home, it seems that the expected priority should be on family, right?

To an extent, yes.

But the longer I have been living with a lot on the go, the more I have realized that all of these priorities are important.

To have a complete life, all of these priorities have to co-exist together.  It isn’t so much about prioritizing one over the other — rather, it is about focusing on one and only one at a time.

It is a proven fact that multitasking is not good for us, nor is it possible to do effectively.  Focus on one priority at a time will ensure the dedicated focus needed to rock each area of life.  I have to prioritize family, kids, home, marriage, work, other responsibilities. Each area of life needs dedicated focus and its own time to shine.

When we are super busy and overwhelmed, it is too easy to put the blinders on and only focus on the biggest job at hand. While this might be good for short term success, it comes at the cost of something else.  For us, it has meant too many shortcuts in the kitchen (too many convenience foods), and most importantly, not enough time having FUN and making family memories together.

3.  The lesson of SELF CARE –  it is easy to be a martyr and take care of everyone else before yourself. Especially as a mom. The kids, the house, the work….everything else seems to come first.  But I’ve learned that if I don’t take care of ME, I can’t take care of anyone or anything else. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

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parenting doesn’t stop when there is work to do! Pruning the orchard last winter when my little guy was still glued to my hip.

These three lessons I’ve learned are the areas that I will dive deeper into in the coming months and beyond.

I don’t like the word “busy”,  it sounds like an excuse. I have a full life. A full life means that I have a lot of things on the go, and I’m ever searching for ways to balance it all. The more that I can make life flow seamlessly from one facet to the next, and smoother of a life it will be.

As Moms, especially those who are working or have a side hustle, we all have full lives. We all need tips and tricks from others who have found ways to make it work. We need encouragement. And most of all, we need support and community, to recognize that we aren’t the only ones trying to raise little ones while building our own empires as well.

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health inspection, PASSED!

It’s been a bit of a long haul, getting to this point.  Going from “garage” to kitchen wasn’t a quick process, especially when working in such short stints of time.  A few hours after the kids were in bed, the occasional weekend day, a rare visit from family which afforded several whole days to work. But really, I started the bulk of the renovation in January. And today, I can finally say, it is DONE.  The health inspector just left, and he gave me his seal of approval to start baking. That means that I am officially an inspected commercial kitchen…..a pretty big deal, considering that making food from home, for profit, is highly frowned upon. But with a licensed, insured and inspected kitchen, doing things the right way (and in the health inspector’s good books) to me is the only way to do business.

My first order is being picked up on Sunday — an assortment of cookies for a birthday. An easy way to break in the new kitchen, I think.

And so, it’s time to take the good camera downstairs, and take a few photos before things start to get dusted in flour. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be in the cake studio, happy as a cupcake. 🙂